A Gift Inside

This afternoon, after a long day of baking cookies with my kiddos, I attempted to take a long needed nap. Although my Body was ready to sleep, I became quite aware of a party going on inside with parts from my system. If you don’t know what I am talking about, please check out my first couple posts to understand what having Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is like. (Here is one of those posts.)

Suddenly, I heard as clear as day the sounds of laughter and delights as I turned inward to see young littles (alters) dressed up in pretty Christmas colors and tinsel in their hair. Pumpkin was wearing silvery glitter in a ponytail and Cosmos was wearing red sparkly bows in her two little pigtails. Some of the older girls had comfy red and white PJs with fluffy white sweaters and red socks. Yet everyone was warm and happy and Papa God was having fun with his brand new red fluffy socks that there girls have given him.



The kids were all excited for today, yet I had no idea what was going on. As I turned my head to listen, I realized, in the garden of my heart, there was a Christmas Party going on. 

There was a warm Fire in the fireplace, and warm hot chocolate for everyone attending. There were kids opening Christmas presents, and others making presents for all their friends. Some had colorful paints and they were making pretty paintings. Others were decorating the trees in the garden and even decorating the Angels and the Lion. Kids were laughing and I could hear our Papa God laughing, too. Some of the girls were braiding the Lion’s mane with tinsel and ribbons and warm fluffy scarves. 

Little Cosmos who is 4 climbed on Papa’s lap where he was sitting with her quietly. Snuggling close into his arms, she whispered in his ear, “Is there a gift that could be given to my friends?”

The Father turned and said to her, “whatever your heart imagines, we can create together.” 

Suddenly we saw this beautiful gift coming together inside her imagination and mine. It was this beautiful ball, that was like an iridescent pearl but yet it bounced like rubber. The Glory of the King was contained inside and it shined like the northern lights with every color you could imagine it shined and danced.


It also did something amazing that I never saw anything like it in those world. If she would sing into it, it came alive with the beauty of each child. It was still the Glory of God inside it that shown through it but suddenly it was unique because the uniqueness of every child shined through it too. As each child held it and sang into it, it was like the ball would come alive, it released a sound and light that danced all the way to the stars and back. With if all creation responded and could dance too. Suddenly I realized this ball wasn’t just a toy or something pretty for us to look at. It was an instrument that carried the Father’s glory and our voice made it come alive, with the words and songs that each child carried. For as they sang there stories in song, it’s words were carried out, it not only created something beautiful, it released a sound that even the stars and God’s creation responded too. 

My heart rejoices with Cosmos at this amazing idea she had inside. Then the Father took her to the water, where beautiful jewels where contained inside. Putting her hands into the water and pulling up the stones below, the Father put his hands around hers, and something inside them formed and began to grow. Colors of Green, Red, Turquoise and Blue Of every shape and size, were created and made for every child, to be given this to them this Christmas Night. Some were really neat as she put them on strings and turned them into pretty jewelry. Yet when you held them in your hands, they would grow into something much larger to see. 

I then saw her ask Papa what could be done to give these gifts to her friends, He said he would give them, each one of those in need and with them came great warmth and healing  in what they sing. 

So this is our Christmas gift to you my friends, weather you are lonely or surrounded by family and friends. You are loved by the King and you are loved by us. May this gift from our heart be something you can experience in your hearts. His love, and His joy, and His creation does sing. Your voice is a part of it and it brings great joy in what He brings. So ask the Father if this gift is for you. It comes from his heart and our heart too. Close your eyes and open your hands, Sing a little song, and feel his warm hands. Look at what appears with your imagination and your song, it’s a beautiful dance that with the Father you can dance along. 

Merry Christmas to all. You are loved my friends!

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