Kingdom Within – Survivors Journey

There once was a girl who had many kingdoms deep inside. Her heart was filled with beauty and her joyful song brought hope to life. Yet deep inside this kingdom, another kingdom dwelt. A kingdom of darkness that was hidden well. The people of this kingdom dwelt deep inside her life. She didn’t know of its existence, yet something felt painful from deep inside.

No matter how hard she tried to smile and pray, the darkness still had a hold. She cried out for freedom, but yet she did not know this kingdom or its stronghold. For many years she worked hard to see the beauty of God’s goodness within. She walked in intimacy with her heavenly Father and her identity grew deep into Him. A deep peace came in these times, as healing came to layer after layer. God’s glory and His goodness showed great fruit in her life. Yet in His sweet gentle voice, her Heavenly Father would reveal, there was something deeper that had to be revealed.

Buried down in a deep well of darkness, parts of her screamed out to be heard. What this darkness contain were many young parts of her frozen in memories of great trauma and fear. The darkness was like a cloak, covered and locked where no one could see them inside. She didn’t know of its existence but slowly the Father began to allow it to be revealed. He said to her,

“My daughter, this is that deeper place I want to reveal. For the enemy has made it his stronghold for much too long, my dear. Every place there is a stronghold deep inside of you is a place where my Glory is about to breakthrough.

This isn’t going to be easy and it may be painful at times. Will you take this journey with me? Come and see, I have won your freedom and the enemy has no place he can hide. For these kingdoms of darkness have contained places where the enemy has had his reign. He has held your family in bondage and he thinks he has everything he needs to keep it contained. He has held birth rites and rituals over your family for centuries it has been well hidden so that no one could see.

This isn’t going to be a battle that will be fought in just a few hours or days. This is a war for victory for some it may take many years. Many will not understand this journey you’re about to go on, for it isn’t easy and there may be days where it will feel hard to move on. Yet as you hold on to me, you will see the Victory and I will make you strong.”

As the weeks went on my sleep turned from dreams of destiny to something dark and painful inside. For something was just revealed and it came to light. With it was memories of pain that I had no idea were inside and with them came parts of me that were focused on death and were on the enemies side. These parts were often young but fought at me with a great blow. Sometimes the witchcraft was so strong, they would take over my consciousness and leave me in the shadows. They sometimes held the memories that caused my thoughts to grow darker. Deep inside I cried, “Father, what is happening to me?” Yet in the midst of this darkness, I would hear His voice telling me I am becoming free.

With the help of the ones I love surrounding me on every side, slowly I saw the darkness fall away from their eyes and they discovered Jesus was there inside. Jesus and the Father would meet with them one by one. Sometimes he would set free many and sometimes he would fight long and hard just for the one.

Many questioned why I would allow this to continue. Why don’t you just shut those alters down, but slowly I learned these parts of me carries these wounds and the darkness so that I could continue to live well. They were the ones who were tortured and abused. They were the ones who were sent through rituals of rape and sodomy starting at the early age of two. Many were broken by the idea that they had no choice but to believe that they were created to be witches and monsters inside and in the spirit. They would go to places that many never even knew were there. They would perform rituals that made there life a living hell.

Many would ask me well how could this be you? You are a believer and you have the kingdom of God inside of you. Well yes, that is very true. I have been a Christian since I was 12 years old, but even in a believer, the darkness can still have its hold. Most of the people that are used in these rituals are not something we see in a physical realm but hidden in a realm where angels and demons dwell. It is there that they are used beyond what they know. For all this time, I was journeying with God, parts of me were working to bring darkness to this earth.

Yet, when Jesus began to meet with each and every part, he didn’t hold this against them, because He knew there destiny was still inside. Each part even the ones who were violent he would meet. Sometimes the fight would last for hours but when He came the demons had to flee. Gently He would come and show them the truth. As they walked through the memories the pain would come up from deep inside, sometimes my entire body would feel the pain that they carried, yet with it came a freedom and the structures were torn down and Jesus would dwell in those hidden places of my life. He would patiently sit with them and hold them together when it hurt so bad. Gently he is freeing me and they are seeing His Love is stronger than everything that is so bad.

If I shared every memory and every place that I have been, many couldn’t listen because of the deep pain they carry with them. However, it isn’t the memories that contain the story. It truly is the Victory and ability to see so many parts of me become free. For you see this journey isn’t just about me and God against the enemy. Many parts of me were trafficked both in the spirit and on the earth and many others are still needing set free.

Many think that for a Christian to have demons is a lie. However, I want you to know. Darkness is there and we are the ones who can bring the light. You see many think that you should focus on goodness only. We should turn our faces from the bad stuff and only bring God’s Glory. Well, I am here to tell you…We are here to bring His Glory and His Light, but if you’re not willing to go take it into the darkness then your not really building His Kingdom and you are not ready to fight. His kingdom isn’t just something that dwells on this physical earth. It dwells in the hearts of man and it dwells in the spirit and it is there where parts of us can be in captivity and help in darkness even while we dwell on this earth. For Isaiah 61 isn’t just about earthly jails and captivity it is about the places where parts of you need set free. This journey for me is about setting parts of me free, but it is also about healing the brokenness and setting many free.


Photo by Céderic Vandenberghe on Unsplash

Photo by Talles Alves on Unsplash


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: